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Hello everyone! Thank you for your continued prayers and support. The past two weeks have been a lot of work. With practices every night and shows on the weekends, it can get a little crazy. Even with all the busyness, I've had some great devotion time, and feel like I'm still growing. The past show at West Cafe of Seacoast Church went really well. Thank you to everyone that made it out! It was such a blessing to meet people and share the music and the message God has laid on my heart.
I can't wait to get started on recording my next album! Please pray for me as I search for the right recording studio and people to work with on that project.
Other news: Charles McCallum has become a permanent member of the Mary Swanson band. Still don't have a permanent percussionist, but God is in control of that. If anyone doesn't know yet, my music is on iTunes and several other download sites. I'm also on U-Tube thanks to my crazy cousin in Virginia. 
There are so many other things going on in my life right now, and I'm so thankful for everyone who is a part of it. Please pray for me as I continue to press on towards the goal: bringing others to a meaningful relationship with Christ.
In His Grip and His Grace,
Mary
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Sullivan Ballou Letter (Civil War)
LETTER TO HIS WIFE (1861)
My very dear Sarah:
The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days -- perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more.
Our movement may be one of a few days duration and full of pleasure -- and it may be one of severe conflict and death to me. Not my will, but thine O God, be done. If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for my country, I am ready. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the Government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing -- perfectly willing -- to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt.
But, my dear wife, when I know that with my own joys I lay down nearly all of yours, and replace them in this life with cares and sorrows -- when, after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of orphanage myself, I must offer it as their only sustenance to my dear little children -- is it weak or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose floats calmly and proudly in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wife and children, should struggle in fierce, though useless, contest with my love of country?
I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps, before that of death -- and I, suspicious that Death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, and thee.
I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved and I could not find one. A pure love of my country and of the principles I have often advocated before the people and "the name of honor that I love more than I fear death" have called upon me, and I have obeyed.
Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly on with all these chains to the battlefield.
The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me -- perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar -- that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name.
Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have oftentimes been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm. But I cannot. I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more.
But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night -- amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours -- always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.
Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.
As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a father's love and care. Little Willie is too young to remember me long, and my blue-eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood. Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters. Tell my two mothers his and hers I call God's blessing upon them. O Sarah, I wait for you there! Come to me, and lead thither my children.
Sullivan
Source: Brown University Alumni Quarterly (Nov. 1990): 38-42.
 
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So, yeah, I'm switching hosting providers. Hopefully, I have everything overlapped to where there won't be any glitches. If there are, and for some reason you can't access the site, I apologize for the downtime. Everything should be good very soon.
So, the party went well. I almost sold out of t-shirts. That is good. Very good, actually. Even though the skies looked unformidable, we still had a great time. It only sprinkled for a short time before the party. A big thanks to Reinvented for coming out to play. It was really great! Charles and I played after that and it was pretty good. Of course I beat myself up over any mistakes. The sound was blasting in my ear, but everyone said it sounded good from where they were sitting. Thank you to all of my friends for all of your support! I love you all!
This past Friday was the Overflow show. The other two bands cancelled. So, I pretty much had the stage for four hours. I only took two though. Not many people showed up, but I'm glad for those who did. It was good practice and a good time of music and fellowship.
Other than that, I've just been truckin' along. I have been working at CNE to pay the bills.
Fourth of July was good too. I love my friends! |
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Okay,
So it has been a while since I've blogged -for real. I am happy to say that I've updated the entire website, and I think that it is a little easier to get around in and update. So, there it is. I've also just finished designing a few T-shirts. I will have the first design available, hopefully, by the end of the month. I don't have the cash flow to buy very many right now, but if I get a lot of orders, I will produce more.
Other than that, I have a wedding reception this weekend. That has been quite a challenge to find appropriate music for a reception, learn it, and practice it. I also have a show on the 30th of June for a company party. After that, I will keep looking for opportunities to play other venues around town.
God is still quite evident in my daily life, even though I'm working full-time again. I've had such great opportunities to share my faith with others and to learn more about God's character. So, it has been a blessing to see Him work in my life.
On the darker side of things, you know that the evil one is always trying to mess things up when God is at work. So, my life has been full of drama and persecution. I am so thankful for great friends and church family to be there for me, to encourage me, and support me. God really knows how to send a girl a message through his people.
Oh - I don't know if I blogged about this yet: WKCL. If I haven't, I've made it on the radio. It wasn't anything I did either. It was all God and Grandpa too.  So, if you're feeling in the mood for some Mary Music, and you've just left your CD at home or something...call up the station and request a song.
New songs are always in the process. I really want to record my next album, but I would like to sell at least half the stock of CD's I have for Faith Like first. That way I'll have the money to record. I'm not sure where or when I'll record my new album, but I can't wait!
Okay, that is it for now. Be blessed, friends.
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I haven't blogged in a long while now. But I've certainly had a lot to blog about. I think I'll spare everyone from the long story. The short story is that I've had a lot of drama in my life. It seems to be magnetically attracted to me. So, after many restless nights and prayerful days, I've come to the conclusion that I have been spiritually attacked -like hard core. More like, bombarded with ridiculous situations, some absolutely horrid and some absolutly great. So, I am more than determined to not let the evil of this world pull me down.
God is so good. He is more powerful than anything that this world can throw at me. So, I will continue to praise him, because He is worthy of praise.
There are many changes coming to me and I've just updated the website. So, check it out. And if there are any broken links, please let me know. Thanks for your prayers and support.
In Him,
Mary |
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So, this weekend I drove to Virginia. My dad had been working late nights for most of the week, and needed some rest before trying to get certified as a Microsoft Small Business Specialist. So, I decided that I would drive him up there. Plus, we could stay with family, and I could visit.
We borrowed my brother's car, because he gets a lot better mileage than the Jeep or the Suburban. Well, when you've been driving one vehicle for years, you get used to all the bells and whistles of your own ride. My brother's car is a pretty fast little car...very sensitive on the gas pedal. So, I was extra careful to watch the speedometer. I was also watching the GPS and keeping myself occupied with the radio surfing. I was very determined to surprise my dad and make it all the way without having to wake him and make him drive. So, I completely was not thinking about the gas.
Well, I'm a little less than an hour away from our destination when the car starts stalling. I was thinking there was something wrong with the engine, because the engine light was on when we left. Nope. I looked over and I had an empty gas tank. I quickly pulled over to the side of the road.
Well, we checked the GPS for nearby gas stations, and there was one a half a mile down the road. So, we decided to walk. It was about 3:30 in the morning and we were walking in the freezing cold down a highway. So, when the semi-trucks went by, it was very scary and very cold. When we got to the station, the newspapers were still in bundles outside the front door. So we were stuck. Fortunately, a police officer saw us walking down the highway and called a unit to come check what the problem was. The officer that came said the the other officer called in a man and a "small child" walking down the highway. lol.
So, the officer took us to the nearest open gas station to get some gas. This was my first ride in the back of a police car...that I can remember anyway. It wasn't much fun, but it was neat. There isn't much leg room at all (and that is from my perspective). So, you can imagine how cramped it is when bigger people ride back there. Of course the doors won't open from the inside. That is kinda scary.
So, I gave the officer one of my CD's in return for helping us out. I know that it was his job, but he was very nice and pleasant. I don't experience many nice and pleasant policemen. So, I decided that he should have one.
So, that was my weekend story. Hope you enjoyed it! |
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So, I didn't get a whole lot of work done last week. I did however, write a new song, clean the house, and went to the eye doctor. Now that I think about it, those are some pretty good things to have done. What I meant was: I didn't get any CNE Graphics work done (my web development and graphic design company). I didn't exercise either, and that made the week feel a little lazy. So, all that to say: I felt like I slacked off a little all week long.
So, Thursday, I worked on my website updates for my music site and did some online marketing stuff. Then, all day Friday, I spent working on my CNE Graphics site. I got a lot accomplished and I worked until 2:30 in the morning Saturday. That isn't bad, considering I normally work until 4 or 5 in the morning. So, as a reward for a hard day's work and starving myself, I made myself a grilled cheese sandwich. I sat on the couch and watched TV for 30 minutes, and then decided that I should exercise (I was feeling a little guilty for eating so late, and not exercising all week).
Normally, I'll get through a warm up, cardio, strength training, and cool down. However, since it was 4 in the morning, I didn't make it through the strength training. I put my weights down and sat down on the floor, because my muscles were shot. I was beginning to realize that I overworked myself. Then, I began to try to tell myself that I felt okay and trying to breath and cool down. However, I was well on my way to passing out.
I started to feel nausious and thought I could make it to the bathroom. I stood up and that is when the room started spinning. No one was home, so I started to get a little scared of what might happen. I tried walking, but only with the help of the Lord, and the surrounding furniture and walls to hold me up. I stumbled down the hallway to the bathroom. When I got to the bathroom, my hearing went out and I began to black out a little. That scared me, because I've never blacked out before. Then, I felt very nauseous and started to throw up -a lot. It was the most horrible feeling in my life.
Really, it was only by the grace of God that I didn't pass out or hit my head or something. It was pretty bad.
I felt better after I got all that out of my system. Then, I got cleaned up and went to bed. When I woke up, I was thankful that all of the pain had passed, and I was still alive. I did wonder how God might use this situation teach me something spiritual. So, I thought about it a while, and did have a revalation of some sort.
Exercise is good for you. It keeps your body in good shape and helps you maintain a healthy lifestyle. However, when it is abused, done at the wrong time, or in the wrong fashion, it can have devastating consequences. That can be applied in all areas of life. God has created many things that are good and pleasing to him, things that glorify him. However, if we choose to take matters into our own hands and do them on our time instead of His time, we can find ourselves dealing with very regretable consequences. I've always heard, "wait on God's timing," but it has never made such an impact as it does now.
So, do those things that are right and good in the sight of God, and be careful to do them at the right time: God's time. |
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I love roller coasters. The way my stomach jumps on the way down...that's the best! It's always slow and quiet on the way up, and then the thrill comes just over the peak. It isn't that way in "real life" though. In my life, I always enjoy the ascent to the top and dread the descent. I've noticed an uneasy trend in my musical life: I get really excited up until the show, and then afterward, I'm really depressed.
It is somewhat of a tiredness mixed with a "what next" type of mentality. So, sometimes I wake up in the morning and curse myself for being so lazy and at the same time encourage myself that I can only take it one day at a time. I've been wanting to write some more songs, but for some reason I'm in a rut. Hopefully, I'll get out of it soon.
Well, hopefully my next post will be a little more light-hearted. Until then, be blessed. MS |
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Wow. I'm am just so excited about what is happening with these CD's. lol. It just hit me today: The music CD has replaced the tract. And doesn't it make sense? I mean, this age of technology and media has quickly become THE means of communication to our culture. So, it has been a blessing for me to hear all of the stories of how this CD is being used as a ministry tool. People are buying the CD's and giving them to co-workers, friends, and family. Then, these people are being ministered to and giving them to others, and requesting more CD's. Of course a CD is a little more expensive than a tract, but look at the good it is doing. How many people in today's society will actually read a tract -even if they do take it from you? In contrast, how many people will listen to a song?
Now, I'm not knockin' the tract. It has its uses, and when combined with the Holy Spirit, it can be even more powerful at sharing the gospel than anything else. I am not anti-tract. I am just saying that I can see how today's society will embrace music more than they will embrace a paper booklet. Ultimately, either way, if they do embrace anything, we want it to be Jesus.
So, continue to pray for those that will hear the gospel in my music, and will read it in the liner notes, and will see it in my face when I am singing, and in my life when I am living. Continue to pray for me and my band mates, Chris, and Adam. This IS a spiritual battle, and Satan is ready to attack at every corner. Pray that we will be ready with a shield of faith that will protect us from the fiery darts!
Thank you for everyone who has supported my ministry with prayers, words of affirmation, gifts of love, donations, and purchases. You are all a blessing. Thank you for serving God with me in this way! |
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So, I'm back from Texas! Things went well. We did two shows: Eurotazza Cafe and the Smith Center at SWBTS. Jacki got us these SWEEEET Suites! The gas prices in Texas are a lot cheaper than here on the coast. So, that was nice. Everyone had a great time -as far as I know. Although we only sold 3 CD's, we were able to get out there and play for people, and learn from it. I was specifically encouraged by the people that I was able to meet while I was out there: Richard, the sound guy, Sarah, the Eurotazza girl, the girl at the library, and the Vietnamese people. I met several others, but names are not my forte.
So, thanks to everyone who prayed and supported. We appreciate it. Big ups to my dad and Chris for driving us all the way there and back! What would I have done without them? Thank you.  |
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